I really wish the Fediverse had more permanence
Sat 10 May 2025
One of the things I hear people on the Fediverse celebrate is its incredible transience. There's no one big central network, so posts have nebulous reach throughout the network, depending on how well-"connected" your instance is, and many people set posts to auto-delete after a set period of time, so that old interactions can become one-sided, depending upon your interlocutor's auto-delete setting.
I'm of the opposite mind. As someone diagnosed with ADHD, I can sometimes struggle with object permanence: I will completely forget to think about friends or to call, unless something external triggers the connection, and I will often remember conversations in vivid detail, except who I was talking to, where, and precisely when.
I've been on the Fediverse since late 2018, and have used it as my main social network since April 2022. I dearly love that space, and it's honestly where I spend most of my time, online-wise.
It is frighteningly ephemeral to me.
The Fediverse is like this really amazing, lively bar. It's not a huge bar, it's not a bougie bar, it's more like a coop bar. There isn't much in the way of bouncers, just leaders of various families trying to keep things on the straight-and-level, and there are always many vivid conversations going on. Corporate social media like Trashbook and Xitter are more like manipulated mobs, hopped up on some kind of algorithmic drugs and constantly stoked to be agitated and angry, or just completely out to lunch in poopposting and digital nihilism/absurdism.
The only thing with this amazing bar is, nobody is checking your ID at the door, and nobody is yelling at you to stay and have another drink. It's very easy to come in, and it's very easy to slip out.
Some of those who have slipped out are completely forgotten.
That makes me sad.
I remember a couple of people I greatly enjoyed talking to that just disappeared, or closed up their self-hosted instance or whatnot, and were just GONE. Poof.
How many more were there that I don't remember, yet really valued talking to and enjoyed?
I was just tonight thinking about some of the doodles I've been sharing under the #DailyDoodle hashtag, and I remembered a friend who used to share sidewalk chalk art that he did that was always quite nice, and I found a renewed appreciation for the effort he put in.
What was his name...? Uhh...
See my problem? (I did remember his userid finally, thankfully, but he hasn't posted anything in a few weeks.)
On the crappy corporate platforms (Trashbook, at least), they're always trying to remind you of old memories to keep you bound to their platform (and feeding their rage farm). Not so on the fediverse. You curate your own experience, manage your own memories.
I do try to use lists to remind me of people I enjoy reading, and bookmarks to remind me of very helpful or interesting threads, but even with those features, there's just so much. Even among favorite (posts and people), you can still lose the forest for the trees.
So, if you're reading this, and we used to speak often in the past, but haven't spoken much recently, please say something. Holler at me. Heck, disagree with me when I'm in the middle of a glorious rant. I love that, seriously!! (If you're making good points, that is. Otherwise watch out! 😂)
100 Days to Offload 2025 - Day 28
Category: Life Tagged: 100DaysToOffload ADHD Beauty FOSS (Free and Open Source Software) Federated Services Life Linux Loss Non-religious post Non-technical post Philosophy Social Media
