Where to now?

Fri 12 September 2025

I debated whether or not this should be a "toot" (status update), or a proper blog post.

Like one time before, I am going to allow it to be something in-between. An off-the-cuff blog post, not quite as structured and agonized over as a proper blog post/article, but more permanent than an ordinary status/toot.


Watching the last episode of The Good Place... again.

(Third time around)

This time, seeing Chidi walk around his old neighborhood struck me much differently than before. I wasn't thinking about my mom or anyone else, but my own life. I was remembering walking around my old "neighborhood" (my old university) a couple years back when I went to VCFSW, which was hosted at my old Alma Mater.

I was remembering that feeling when nostalgia and remembrance gave way to the present and the banal, and my special day of nostalgia-tripping turned into just another day at the university, even though I hadn't been a student in nine years at that point. Beautiful sentiment was effaced and replaced with ordinary nowness, even though it was out of place (as was I).

And like Chidi I found myself wondering... what's next? What's left?

I'm... scarcely sainthood material, but I've done what I could in the past few years to live for the sake of others, and the one I had been focusing most of my emotional energy on is now no longer here.

So... what now?

I guess this is me unraveling one of the stages of grief. Until the past few days, I was unsure if I was even really in grieving at all. I felt fine. Relieved. A burden lifted, not that a person is ever a burden, but the burden of concern, of worry, the tight cage of emotional perturbation defined and constricted by a thousand eternal variables coming together over the span of years and finally all focusing in on a single moment.

All that suddenly gone, I felt... almost an elation. Not happiness, for certain, but a release.

And now that strange tightrope has gone slack, and I am left wondering where my footsteps should take me.

Category: Life Tagged: Beauty Content Warning Entertainment Ethics Life Loss Non-religious post Non-technical post Personal favorites Philosophy Prose


The Scenes that Made Me: Star Wars

Mon 19 May 2025

Luke looking wistfully out at the dual sunset on Tatooine as The Force Theme plays hauntingly in the background, beckoning him to his grand adventure

Luke looking wistfully out at the dual sunset on Tatooine as The Force Theme plays hauntingly in the background, beckoning him to his grand adventure

Having grown up in the 1980s, one thing random friends would often ask me (actually what family friends would ask my mom) was: "Has he …

Category: Entertainment Tagged: 100DaysToOffload Beauty Entertainment Ethics Life Loss Non-religious post Non-technical post Philosophy Science Fiction

Read More

I (again) want Star Trek to be real

Sun 11 May 2025

When I was in High School, I fell madly in love with Star Trek: The Next Generation. The fascinating characters, the (at the time) amazing special effects, the stories, the optimism, but most of all, the technology.

My eyes dazzled seeing huge touchscreens, digital tablets, and incredible spacefaring vessels every …

Category: Ethics Tagged: 100DaysToOffload Computing Entertainment Ethics Life Non-technical post Philosophy Science Fiction

Read More
Page 1 of 6

Next »