Sat 13 April 2024 by R.L. Dane

I was chilling out at the parking lot of In-N-Out after having lunch there (because the weather is pretty nice today), but decided to go to a local library to have a nice desk in front of me and do some reading/writing.

I asked the Oracle at Googlii (via sandboxed Gmaps WebView FOSS app) where the nearest library was, and I was amused to find the nearest one is the library at the community college I graduated from (associate's degree) exactly a decade ago (well, in another month).

I think I've been here once or maybe twice since then.

It's so strange to look back 10 years to your late 30s/early 40s (only children and fools give out their precise age on the internet) and realize just how immature you were back then, and just how much life would take a sledgehammer to what you thought life was all about.

Maybe it's an ADHD thing, but I always find myself looking back. To my teens from my 20s, to my 20s from my 30s, and so on.

A song I've liked for a long time talks about this:

Remember the days when life was not so mysterious
Follow me down the hall to the cafeteria
Where the worst thing I could mess up
Was dipping yesterday's corn dog in last week's ketchup
Back in the 8th grade

Why does the past always seem safer?
Maybe because at least we know me made it
And why do we worry about the future?
When every day will come just the way the Lord ordained it
You can believe it, yeah, just like the 8th grade
—Chris Rice, "8th Grade"

Every season of life comes with its own challenges. The things that perturbed me greviously 10 years ago wouldn't even be a footnote to me today.
The things I face today would cause 10-years-ago me to melt into a puddle of anxiety.

"If it be now, 'tis not to come;
if it be not to come, it will be now;
if it be not now, yet it will come:
the readiness is all"
Hamlet, Act V, Scene ii

Six Months a Mourner

Thu 11 April 2024 by R.L. Dane

Content Warning: This post deals with the loss of a pet. Also, Christian themes.

This will probably be my last post on this subject for a while. I do not wish to labor the point, but today marks the sixth month of my cat passing, and I felt that I …

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How did we *survive*?!?

Sun 31 March 2024 by R.L. Dane

About an hour ago, I was catching up with an old friend from the 90s that I've kept in touch with through the years and visited several times (even though I moved to a different state at the end of that decade). We were part of a wonderfully tight-knit group …

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A Breath of Fresh Air

Thu 25 January 2024 by R.L. Dane

It's funny to me how simple, practical changes can produce lasting effects. It's also funny how something can seem so insurmountable when you're stuck in a certain mindset, only to realize that it's just a matter of a simple change of thinking and habits.

When I was younger (read: thirties …

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Fun Chance Meetings

Thu 28 December 2023 by R.L. Dane

A couple days ago, I was discussing with my counselor the importance of in-person relationships. I commented on how incredibly easy it is to open a computer and drop into a meaningful and enjoyable conversation within a few minutes (especially on the Fediverse!), but that it felt nearly impossible to …

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Two months later

Mon 11 December 2023 by R.L. Dane

Content warning: This post deals with loss

As I have alluded to before, there is a certain process of effacing that time does to loss and grief, as well as the memory of the departed.

I'm staring at the two month mark, and while I've had some truly dark moments …

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On "Zoomers" and Generations

Thu 30 November 2023 by R.L. Dane

One thing I've noticed as someone who has lived in *gulp* six decades is that we Americans have a thing for generations. Well, in broad terms, looking at life generationally is absolutely not new, nor uniquely American. But naming generations just might be. Several European FediFriends have expressed to me …

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I can fly!

Sun 26 November 2023 by R.L. Dane

Content Warning: This post involves illness and extremely stressful situations

Have you ever had a lucid dream? One where you could just bend reality to your will — fly freely by thinking, become POTUS, rule a banana republic (two things that are becoming tragically similar), or propose marriage the famous person …

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How to Raise the Dead: An Instructional Guide to Necromancy, as it were

Thu 23 November 2023 by R.L. Dane

I got into a humorous discussion with a good "FediFriend" today about cloning and necromancy. The result of our rather bizarre conversation was that I would write an article on necromancy if he would write an article on cloning.

His resultant article was not at all what I thought it …

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Fading into Memory (the cruelest stage of grief)

Wed 15 November 2023 by R.L. Dane

Content Warning: This post deals with grief

Yet again, I had planned to write about healthy mourning, and yet again, what's on my mind being hijacked by what's rattling around in my heart.

There is this innocent, necessary, and healthy stage of mourning that is also so terribly cruel: the …

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