One month later

Content warning: This post deals with loss

Well, one month later.
One month ago, I said goodbye to my furry best friend.
I've thought about him every day, several times a day.
Nearly every day, I find myself thinking,

"Well, I've got time, I can stop by the house and say hello to — oop!."
"I better not stay out to late, because I need to feed — oop!."
"I can't wait to get home and spend some time with — oop!."

Yeah, it sucks. But honestly, none of it has been as bad as I thought.

I thought losing my cat would undo me. That it would break me.
Turns out, in a lot of ways, it has made me.

Losing him made me see all of my little dysfunctions in a fresh and revealing light. And rather than make me feel despair or loss, it made me feel more energetic to face the day. To meet life head on. To honor his memory, and who he is in my life.

But today is not one of those days.
Today, I'm moping.
Today, I'm vegging out and binging tv.

Because one month ago, I both lost and gained something beautiful.
And while I can take comfort and strength in what is eternal, and can never be taken away from me,

Dang, I just wish I could —