The Last Stage of Loss?
Last night I had one of those "your loved one isn't actually dead!" dreams, but about my cat.
I used to have them a lot about my stepdad that passed away many years ago, and I had a handful about my boss that sadly ended his own life a decade ago.
I had the first dream in a very long time (as far as I can recall) about my cat Hobbes last night. He was suddenly not dead, and I could hold him in my arms. It was a very sweet dream.
I don't think I've had more than a handful of dreams about him, ever. Ironically the only other ones I can somewhat remember were from when he was younger, and my mind was expressing fears about him passing away, because he was just so dear to me.
But I'm thinking that maybe the "your loved one is suddenly and unexpectedly not dead" dream is possibly the last stage of grief.
It's your heart reminding you: not that they are gone, but that they were there, and how much they meant to you. Just as you start to move on (?!???), your heart draws you back; not out of cruelty, but out of love.
100 Days to Offload 2025 - Day 7
My Favorite Bosses
Across three decades working in I.T., I've had the opportunity to observe some spectacularly good and spectacularly bad managers. I feel like writing an homage to the three that were the most memorable.
Name obfuscation methodology
I will be using the real name of the individuals mentioned, but I …
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My Socratic Sign
In Part I, I listed several things/places/events that felt magical to me in my life. In this article, I will discuss the most recent one, which I refer to as my "Socratic Sign."
Life, Rebooted
At 40 years old, I found myself without a job and without the …
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Magical Moments
This article is written based on a prompt I shared with a friend a couple weeks ago. You can my article from that "round-robin" prompt exercise here.
Since neither of my fedifriends have written their prompts yet, I'm actually borrowing the idea I gave Amin to write:
I'm going to …
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A Grief Fulfilled
Just moments ago, I removed the cat bed that's been on the corner of my bed for the past nine months, and placed it in the closet.
Minutes before that, as I walked into my home, I called out to my cat one last time (which I had done nearly …
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Freedom
Content Warning: this is all coming from a fairly Christian worldview, and so may seem a bit like proselyting to those from other traditions and beliefs. I'm just putting out what I'm mulling over, so as always, you're welcome to read it, or wait for another nerdy UNIXy post a …
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Fun Chance Meetings
A couple days ago, I was discussing with my counselor the importance of in-person relationships. I commented on how incredibly easy it is to open a computer and drop into a meaningful and enjoyable conversation within a few minutes (especially on the Fediverse!), but that it felt nearly impossible to …
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Two months later
Content Warning: This post deals with loss
As I have alluded to before, there is a certain process of effacing that time does to loss and grief, as well as the memory of the departed.
I'm staring at the two month mark, and while I've had some truly dark moments …
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I can fly!
Content Warning: This post involves illness and extremely stressful situations
Have you ever had a lucid dream? One where you could just bend reality to your will — fly freely by thinking, become POTUS, rule a banana republic (two things that are becoming tragically similar), or propose marriage the famous person …
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Fading into Memory (the cruelest stage of grief)
Content Warning: This post deals with grief
Yet again, I had planned to write about healthy mourning, and yet again, what's on my mind being hijacked by what's rattling around in my heart.
There is this innocent, necessary, and healthy stage of mourning that is also so terribly cruel: the …
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