The Last Stage of Loss?
Last night I had one of those "your loved one isn't actually dead!" dreams, but about my cat.
I used to have them a lot about my stepdad that passed away many years ago, and I had a handful about my boss that sadly ended his own life a decade ago.
I had the first dream in a very long time (as far as I can recall) about my cat Hobbes last night. He was suddenly not dead, and I could hold him in my arms. It was a very sweet dream.
I don't think I've had more than a handful of dreams about him, ever. Ironically the only other ones I can somewhat remember were from when he was younger, and my mind was expressing fears about him passing away, because he was just so dear to me.
But I'm thinking that maybe the "your loved one is suddenly and unexpectedly not dead" dream is possibly the last stage of grief.
It's your heart reminding you: not that they are gone, but that they were there, and how much they meant to you. Just as you start to move on (?!???), your heart draws you back; not out of cruelty, but out of love.
100 Days to Offload 2025 - Day 7
Love is a choice
I was going to go in a different direction for tonight's blog post (thanks to the help of some kind fedifriends), but while starting on that post, I felt like I needed to revive a blog post idea from a few weeks ago first.
A month and four days ago …
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A Grief Exchanged
The working title of my previous post was, "A Grief Exchanged."
I couldn't quite make the title work in my head, so I abandoned it for "Adoption," which still works well.
I'm re-claiming that title for this post, because I can make more sense of where I was going with …
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Adoption
I wrote six months ago about the process of mourning and also my struggle to find another cat to adopt.
There were a couple times that I had visited with a cat at a shelter and slowly warmed up to the possibility of adopting them, only to find that the …
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A Grief Fulfilled
Just moments ago, I removed the cat bed that's been on the corner of my bed for the past nine months, and placed it in the closet.
Minutes before that, as I walked into my home, I called out to my cat one last time (which I had done nearly …
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Six Months a Mourner
Content Warning: This post deals with the loss of a pet. Also, Christian themes.
This will probably be my last post on this subject for a while. I do not wish to labor the point, but today marks the sixth month of my cat passing, and I felt that I …
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Two months later
Content Warning: This post deals with loss
As I have alluded to before, there is a certain process of effacing that time does to loss and grief, as well as the memory of the departed.
I'm staring at the two month mark, and while I've had some truly dark moments …
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Fading into Memory (the cruelest stage of grief)
Content Warning: This post deals with grief
Yet again, I had planned to write about healthy mourning, and yet again, what's on my mind being hijacked by what's rattling around in my heart.
There is this innocent, necessary, and healthy stage of mourning that is also so terribly cruel: the …
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Loss
Content Warning: This post deals with the death of a pet and mourning, and approaches things from a Christian viewpoint.
Content Warning, part 2: This post went into far greater detail about the events leading up to my cat's passing than I initially intended, so if you're mourning a loved …
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One month later
Content warning: This post deals with loss
Well, one month later.
One month ago, I said goodbye to my furry best friend.
I've thought about him every day, several times a day.
Nearly every day, I find myself thinking,
"Well, I've got time, I can stop by the house and …
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