Quasi-Lucid Ravings
I don't understand time.
I don't understand this weird 80-year period of life, bracketed by glory.
I don't understand squinting and sweating under the sun, waiting for our Rescue.
I don't understand the Creator's insistence of running the simulation of humanity on such a flawed and cantankerous scratch file.
I don't understand the wisdom of incarnating spirits as ants to help other ants, and to be evaluated on the extent to which we helped.
I don't understand being broken, being given a crutch, and waiting for the bones to heal when bones are no more.
I don't understand the point of funneling breath into dirt, which only then longs to be freed from the dirt to which it was bound.
Please help me understand the point of this entire exercise, the parameters of which seem very strange to me.
And help me have compassion on the other ants that think they are only ants, who live, kill, extort, abuse, and die so that they can pile up more dirt on their ant mounds.
I just don't get the point of it all.
This is a very strange simulation to me.
Don't Go Back There
Content warning: discussion of religion and politics. If those subjects are triggers for you, I fully understand, and offer instead this lighthearted post instead.
Note: this post is in some ways a continuation of this one from 2024, but you don't need to read that first.
There's a phrase found …
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Mind the Shards
Photo source: Marika Vinkmann
I was listening to one of my new favorite podcasts, Don't Listen to Us with Mandy Patinkin and Kathryn Grody (his wife). As I mentioned in a recent post, Mandy is one of my favorite actors, nay, favorite humans on the planet. I can't get into …
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Breakfast at Der Waffle Haus
Disclaimer 1: A heavy "[sic]" is implied on all intentional butchering of the German language in the references (and URLs) in this post
Disclaimer 2: This post deals with issues of grieving, but in a lighthearted manner
Disclaimer 3: This post may be best enjoyed while listening to this track …
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The Past is the Future
Yesterday was my grandmother's funeral. As a family member, I had the shared duty of greeting the various guests, and then when things got started, I just kinda hopped from table to table, talking to people I know and catching up with folks. It was a great way to top …
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Nietzsche's Heavy Declaration
Content Warning: this post is a downer. I will be dealing with issues of religious manipulation and existential guilt
Chidi grabs the drug dealer by the hoodie while reciting Nietzsche
In yesterday's post*, I discussed my favorite episode (s03e05 "Jeremy Bearimy") of my favorite series (The Good Place). I didn't …
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Random updates
Ironically, this isn't intended to be a "filler" post, but more of a fill-you-in post, as I've actually decided to stop trying to do "100 Days to Offload" this year.
I still technically have enough time left in the year to do it, but then I'd just be slamming the …
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Where to now?
I debated whether or not this should be a "toot" (status update), or a proper blog post.
Like one time before, I am going to allow it to be something in-between. An off-the-cuff blog post, not quite as structured and agonized over as a proper blog post/article, but more …
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Just a quick note...
...to let you all know why I haven't been blogging for the past couple weeks.
After many years of fighting with illness, and multiple organ failures, my mother passed away peacefully last Tuesday night.
I'm doing ok, overall, but haven't had much motivation to write. Everything is still very surreal …
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The Scenes that Made Me: Lars and the Real Girl (2007)
Lars looking on wistfully while ingesting his sister-in-law's retort to his rant
Video clip
Content warning: this post unavoidably and briefly touches on some "mature" topics
If you had told me six months ago that one of my favorite movies of all time would be a bout a man who …
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