Where to now?
I debated whether or not this should be a "toot" (status update), or a proper blog post.
Like one time before, I am going to allow it to be something in-between. An off-the-cuff blog post, not quite as structured and agonized over as a proper blog post/article, but more permanent than an ordinary status/toot.
Watching the last episode of The Good Place... again.
(Third time around)
This time, seeing Chidi walk around his old neighborhood struck me much differently than before.
I wasn't thinking about my mom or anyone else, but my own life. I was remembering walking around my old "neighborhood" (my old university) a couple years back when I went to VCFSW, which was hosted at my old Alma Mater.
I was remembering that feeling when nostalgia and remembrance gave way to the present and the banal, and my special day of nostalgia-tripping turned into just another day at the university, even though I hadn't been a student in nine years at that point. Beautiful sentiment was effaced and replaced with ordinary nowness, even though it was out of place (as was I).
And like Chidi I found myself wondering... what's next? What's left?
I'm... scarcely sainthood material, but I've done what I could in the past few years to live for the sake of others, and the one I had been focusing most of my emotional energy on is now no longer here.
So... what now?
I guess this is me unraveling one of the stages of grief. Until the past few days, I was unsure if I was even really in grieving at all. I felt fine. Relieved. A burden lifted, not that a person is ever a burden, but the burden of concern, of worry, the tight cage of emotional perturbation defined and constricted by a thousand eternal variables coming together over the span of years and finally all focusing in on a single moment.
All that suddenly gone, I felt... almost an elation. Not happiness, for certain, but a release.
And now that strange tightrope has gone slack, and I am left wondering where my footsteps should take me.
Some thoughts on *Severance*
Content warning: This post contains some minor spoilers for Severance seasons 1 & 2, as well as a discussion of some religious and cultic themes.
I had seen many fedifriends discussing the Apple-produced TV series Severance, and after completing my watch-through of The Good Place (blog post on that is in …
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The Scenes that Made Me: Star Wars
Luke looking wistfully out at the dual sunset on Tatooine as The Force Theme plays hauntingly in the background, beckoning him to his grand adventure
Having grown up in the 1980s, one thing random friends would often ask me (actually what family friends would ask my mom) was: "Has he …
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The Scenes that Made Me: Star Trek
I'm starting a new series where I recount the TV show and movies that were formative in my life. Not only in my childhood (although that will be heavily emphasized), but even recent days.
As I mentioned in a recent post, there were some scenes in Star Trek that deeply …
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I (again) want Star Trek to be real
When I was in High School, I fell madly in love with Star Trek: The Next Generation. The fascinating characters, the (at the time) amazing special effects, the stories, the optimism, but most of all, the technology.
My eyes dazzled seeing huge touchscreens, digital tablets, and incredible spacefaring vessels every …
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Blog Questions Challenge: Technology Edition
I saw this update to the "Blog Questions Challenge" format on jnv's blog, and without reading* it first (in order to not taint my own answers — I will definitely go back and read his), I thought I'd write down some of my own thoughts, for fun.
*I used curl …
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Libraries are awesome
About a week ago, I had the pleasure of answering some interview-style questions from Hyde that got posted to his blog series, Over/Under.
Give it a read, as I had a lot of fun writing my responses, such that I forgot to actually answer "Overrated/Underrated" to some of …
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Technology has promised so much, has *delivered* so much, and yet, I'm horrified.
I was an 80s kid. I grew up in a booming and optimistic time. The future held so much promise: all kinds of cures for disease, technology and automation would free humanity from the drudgery of labor (heh), and the Information Age would bring an acceleration to learning and innovation …
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Responding to The Linux Cast's Vitriolic Diatribe
The Linux Cast is one of my favorite Linux youtubers, as he usually posts very interesting videos and isn't afraid to share his off-the-cuff opinions of things in the Linux world, yet is usually not toxic, unlike some of that space's more infamous members.
He published a slightly ranty …
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I kinda hate "apps"
I'm talking mostly about terminology, but of course, when in doubt, "I don't want your dumb app."
So, as I briefly alluded to in yesterdays blog post, most mobile apps are pretty terrible. They're generally chock full of spyware (trackers), and are inherently user-hostile.
But I want to talk about …
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