Where to now?
I debated whether or not this should be a "toot" (status update), or a proper blog post.
Like one time before, I am going to allow it to be something in-between. An off-the-cuff blog post, not quite as structured and agonized over as a proper blog post/article, but more permanent than an ordinary status/toot.
Watching the last episode of The Good Place... again.
(Third time around)
This time, seeing Chidi walk around his old neighborhood struck me much differently than before.
I wasn't thinking about my mom or anyone else, but my own life. I was remembering walking around my old "neighborhood" (my old university) a couple years back when I went to VCFSW, which was hosted at my old Alma Mater.
I was remembering that feeling when nostalgia and remembrance gave way to the present and the banal, and my special day of nostalgia-tripping turned into just another day at the university, even though I hadn't been a student for six years at that point. Beautiful sentiment was effaced and replaced with ordinary nowness, even though it was out of place (as was I).
And like Chidi, I found myself wondering... what's next? What's left?
I'm... scarcely sainthood material, but I've done what I could in the past few years to live for the sake of others, and the one I had been focusing most of my emotional energy on is now no longer here.
So... what now?
I guess this is me unraveling one of the stages of grief. Until the past few days, I was unsure if I was even really in grieving at all. I felt fine. Relieved. A burden lifted, not that a person is ever a burden, but the burden of concern, of worry, the tight cage of emotional perturbation defined and constricted by a thousand eternal variables coming together over the span of years and finally all focusing in on a single moment.
All that suddenly gone, I felt... almost an elation. Not happiness, for certain, but a release.
And now that strange tightrope has gone slack, and I am left wondering where my footsteps should take me.
Why Do We Blog?
A few days ago, I was reading someone's blog (I don't remember who)* that was talking about the art and the "why" of blogging (or it might've been in a chat conversation, I'm not sure). I had been thinking of posting something about it, because when I told someone IRL …
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Songs to Improve Your Mental Health
Background
I'd be fooling myself to think that I could be the first person on the earth to note music's incredible ability to heal and salve the tormented human soul. My own journey with music is, well, unsurprisingly, about as old as I am. Most everyone on one side of …
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The Scenes that Made Me: Lars and the Real Girl (2007)
Lars looking on wistfully while ingesting his sister-in-law's retort to his rant
Video clip
Content warning: this post unavoidably and briefly touches on some "mature" topics
If you had told me six months ago that one of my favorite movies of all time would be a bout a man who …
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The Scenes that Made Me: Star Wars
Luke looking wistfully out at the dual sunset on Tatooine as The Force Theme plays hauntingly in the background, beckoning him to his grand adventure
Having grown up in the 1980s, one thing random friends would often ask me (actually what family friends would ask my mom) was: "Has he …
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I really wish the Fediverse had more permanence
One of the things I hear people on the Fediverse celebrate is its incredible transience. There's no one big central network, so posts have nebulous reach throughout the network, depending on how well-"connected" your instance is, and many people set posts to auto-delete after a set period of time …
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A Toast to the Prolific ones
I wanted to take some time out today to acknowledge some folks on the fediverse that are remarkably prolific, just for fun.
Prolific blogger — Rubenerd
Oh holy moly. This fella has words. Lots of words. Many very fine words. Just look at bro's output for 2024:
~ $ curl -s https://rubenerd …
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Blog Questions Challenge: TV Shows Edition
I keep finding more of these blog challenge questions, and I totally love them.
This one comes courtesy of Andreas' blog.
Like Andreas, I'm not a big TV watcher. I think I formally quit watching TV in 2003. I did watch a few things on Netflix and Amazon Prime over …
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Libraries are awesome
About a week ago, I had the pleasure of answering some interview-style questions from Hyde that got posted to his blog series, Over/Under.
Give it a read, as I had a lot of fun writing my responses, such that I forgot to actually answer "Overrated/Underrated" to some of …
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The Last Stage of Loss?
Last night I had one of those "your loved one isn't actually dead!" dreams, but about my cat.
I used to have them a lot about my stepdad that passed away many years ago, and I had a handful about my boss that sadly ended his own life a decade …
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